It's going to be OK!

I complain all the time on this blog so I thought I better post when good things happen too.

The major sewing project I'm working on (it's a gift so I can't give details) is working out great! I was even giddy about the 1/4 mark results! It has been along time since I smiled that big. I noticed how my face felt and thought "I am so glad to be this happy!"

Nice dinner, I put a beef roast in the oven for 8 hours. Dale loves burned onions so I burned up 3 onions to go with the beef. Sorry Jeanelle

Dale's appointment for the night was cancelled!

I canceled a prez meeting and felt no guilt! Yippee!

Everyone had a good attitude about scriptures, back to questions and highlighting, back to success again!

The other meeting I went to (I was ready for a tough time) was unexpectedly attended by stake leaders who totally took the heat! I am supported on all sides, in every direction. I came home so happy!

Got an email from my Ladybug! Her last paragraph made me tear up, it was good to my heart. It's going to be OK!

So, today I have biopsy. "It's going to be OK."

Is this less pessimistic?

I can log into my blog with my email and password. I know my user name. I still can not make comments on other's blogs. I am not an idiot, but I am doing something wrong. HELP!

We are planning on a yard sale this Saturday.

Sick kid, we are taking turns.

My hubby finally found an old high school friend of his. He was one of the ushers at our wedding. This is one of those scary but true, Sci-fie guys. I wonder if he still lives in his parents basement?

Primary is stressing me out. I think I got the administrative stuff down. But Man what about...this and that? The devil is in the details of each and every kid.

I'm speaking at RS meeting next week. Me and then the bishop, again. We just spoke together for sacrament meeting in Jan. I have no problem with Sheryl talking about anything. My problem is "what does Father in Heaven want Sheryl to say?" I think and think and think. How much am I "the philosophy of Sheryl mingling with scripture". I am arrogant and full of myself. I like who I am and I want others to like me too. My presentations, historically, can be full of entertaining fluff. It is the responsibility of being the instrument for good that ways on me. No biggy.

My hubby was just told he does have sleep apnea. YEA! His O2 level should be at least 95%. He got down to 75%. Maybe now he can get a good nights rest!! I am excited at what this will do for him!

I've been watching old "Gilmore Girls" every day at 2:00pm. I need to stop obsessing. I catch myself acting like Loralie.

blog my heart

Should I stop blogging my heart out? I guess I'm not "puking on paper" (March 7 post) in my journals anymore.
Sheesh! Lighten up girl!

Culture

Multi-Cultural Night at the Elementary school tonight. I was so excited for it I helped set up tables and walls decor before it started. Anything to make it a success. It was the first time they ever put it on and it was great! Well attended! Lots of dance, music, food, activities, and the displays were wonderful!

When I see someone who doesn't "look like" me. I am always curious. "Why did they come here?" "What did they have to leave behind?" "What do they think of this place?" "How are they getting along?" "Why do they dress like that?" "What does it mean, if anything? "What do they eat?" "How could they do that? How could they leave 'home'?" I want to know their stories. I have so much admiration for them.

I am from no where? Every single one of my ancestral lines was here before the civil war. Every single traceable line pre-dates the American Revolution. I "look like" most Euro-American mutts. I know Ireland and most likely England. Probably some German and maybe some Scottish highland.

I knew I couldn't stay tonight (sick kid at home alone). But was then glad for the excuse to leave after a half hour or so. My youngest saw me tear up and asked if I was OK.

Maybe the tears are from the little girl in me. When moving around with the Air-Force and asked "Where are you from?" I would answer, "My parents are from Indiana." I called no place home. For medical reasons several years ago I was asked where my ancestors were from. The guy thought I was smarting off when I said "Here". He pressed me more and the bewildered look on my face upset him even more than my answer. I finally gave in with "We came from Ireland 300 years ago." One guy from one country does that count?

How long do "we" have to live here before we can say we are "from" here? I want to honor the Native American, so I can't say I'm from here.
How does this sound? "Where are you from?" "I am a Non-Native American."

I live in the United States of America. I love living in the melting pot.

"Doctor, Doctor Give Me the News"

First off, my software came. I knew if I blogged it would, thanks!

I counted up for this week;
2 Chiropractor for one son
3 Chiropractor for me
1 Mammogram for me
1 Podiatrist for me
1 Pediatrician for other son
1 sleep apnea test for hubby

Next week
2 Chiropractor for one son
3 Chiropractor for me
1 ENT for me
1 GYN biopsy for me
1 group kid dentist

So yesterday at the mammogram (do not proceed if you are male and don't want the details) I was told that I have "dense" ones. I already knew that from previous mammograms. So I asked the technician,

first time Q "What does that mean?"
first time A "Oh, it's not malignant."
second time Q "What does dense mean?"
second time A "Oh, you just don't have fatty ones, like me."
third time Q "But what does dense mean? I know it's not fat. Is it muscle?"
third time A "It's genetic."
I gave up.
I didn't ask if I had cancer. I didn't ask what hers were like (TMI). I didn't ask where they come from. This is what my sister calls a lack of "shared understanding".

So, because I'm dense I go off to the ultra sound to follow up (a 6 month check up from a year and a half ago) on some lumps. Doc says "fibroids". I know this already. But what is a fibroid? I know it's not cancer. I know it's not fat. I know it's not the same as a cyst (filled with fluid, what kind of fluid by the way?) I was to tired to ask.

When my hubby came home I put dinner on the table for the kids and pulled him into our bedroom to cry. I don't know why. I'm not worried or concerned I just want to better understand what is going on inside my body. I think I'm tired of doctors. This is what my sister says comes from not having my needs met, frustration/anger. My sister is smart, always has been.

I am calling the center tomorrow and let them know the technician was "dense".

all things ill

Sick kid at home today.

We had the oven repaired back around New Year's.
Repair guy fixed our fridge, he's coming out again today to attach a new gasket.
Now our washer is leaking and not spinning out correctly the first go around.

So my hubby ordered some quilting software for me for my birthday. According to the website items are shipped out (US post office) on Tuesday and sometimes Thursday (from CA). It had not shown up after 18 days so my hubby called. Owner would not apologize and gave excuses (out of town, need to update website, etc.) but agreed to give us a book at half price (which I was thinking about anyway). She stated to my hubby and I both that she was shipping out all of it that day. That was 10 days ago. The software cleared the bank a while back, the book cleared the bank this past Friday.This is a small one person company and complaining to the BBB, I don't think would do much. What do we do?

"So you had a good day"

1. Ran out the door.
2. Start off the day with checking off the "teach kids to fish" be a good mom block. Done.
3. Go yard selling with hubby and kids, something they know mom doesn't like. Done.
4. Breakfast was Trout and then try to fight off the "trout breath" with a Hershey's bar with Almonds from my purse that a friend dropped off to me (previous post, comment). Yum.
5. Find a beautiful glass water pitcher for 2 bucks. It makes me happy. Done.
6. Miss the first show of "Narnia" get tickets for second, wait for 45 minutes before the two and a half hour movie starts. Good movie. To violent for younger kids. Surprised at a few scenes made it through the PG rating. No blood. Good movie as a family (minus 1 or 2).
7. Sew baby blanket and big sister blanket for baby shower that starts in 2 hours. Not yet done, fabric still in dryer.
8. Cook up something for the ward potluck tonight that starts in on hour. Not yet done, still blogging.

Thinking

• Will my house ever be clean enough?
• I can't believe my daughter is such an academic. Maybe it's a seasonal thing?
• I wish I didn't cry when I think of dancing.
• I'm glad I'm not going to give birth again. Sleep deprivation is the worst part.
• I wish I didn't know what it is like to see my child hurting from the pains of being teased, a lot.
• I wish my head didn't itch so much lately.
• I am grateful for the freedoms I enjoy in this great nation.
• I'm scared to start my own business but excited too.
• My sister came to visit and uses NVC (Non-Violent Communication). I have latched on to two of her phrases, "Shared Understanding" and the one that is really helping is "Shared Reality". There are just some people I can now just shrug off my frustrations with them as not having a "Shared Reality". And I am very much amused by this.
• I finally have nice nails! I am ready to spend big bucks on fingernail polish that won't chip so easy.
• Should I start a new blog with my summer to do list? Friends use it, I think it would be good. I spend a lot of time on it already, posting it would take how much more time?
• I'm glad you are my friend and read this blog.
• Why can't I post comments on other blogs anymore? I could, now I can't. What happened?

half glass whine

I put off going to the doc (actually a nurse practitioner) for several months. I knew I would have to start making the doctor rounds soon as I got started with one. Sure enough I walked out of there with 4 referrals. I got a phone call today, I almost always do, blood work follow up, test not right, blah blah blah. Will most likely lead to another biopsy. I've had so many I don't count them anymore.

So, is the glass half empty -with so many things wrong with me?

OR, is the glass half full -even my positive biopsies (only 2 kind, so far) are treatable with "simple" procedures. I live in a country with good doctors and have excellent health insurance, better than anyone I know even, that we don't even pay for it?

"Surpise, Surprise, Surprise"

I'll bake you cookies if you can name the TV show or character (one in the same) from that quote.

My hubby rolled over in bed at his normal get up time on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 and said, "Happy Birthday! I took the day off." OMGsh! I was so Surprised! I couldn't get back to sleep.
My hubby brought me blueberry muffins in bed.
My VT'ers brought me beautiful flowers.
My hubby took me to lunch. He then gave me a can of cashews (love'em).
My hubby cleaned house while I went to the mall.
My hubby made me my favorite meal, King Crab Legs.
My hubby through me a Surprise party.
My hubby and friends gave me 7 birthday cakes, cards and fun. There were 43 people to wish me a happy 43 birthday. I hugged them all (except Kellie, I missed her before she left).
My hubby gave me another can of cashews before bed.
My hubby is "Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful and even more Wonderful".
I'll bake you cookies if you can name the movie or actor from that quote too.